By Bailey Bowers | BCH Foster Parent
Even now, a year and a half in, I still get the question: “What made you decide to start fostering while single?”
You’d think I’d have a standard response prepared; I’d be ready to answer that question in my sleep!
In the early days, when I was still completing my training hours, I often found myself giving this long explanation detailing all the ways I felt God had called me to this regardless of my relationship status.
Now, after my two sweet girls have been with me for nearly two years, my answer tends to simply be this: “Because they are worth it to God, they are worth it to me.”
But if I’m being honest, that answer just barely scratches the surface of what these last few years have been like. Over the last six hundred days, my faith has been tested more than I ever thought possible. I’d never questioned God’s calling and leading as much as I did in the early days after my girls were placed with me. Becoming a foster parent is a daunting calling in and of itself, but doing it on my own? I felt like I could barely keep my head above water most days.
On podcast Episode 1059 of That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs, she interviews a friend who is a single adoptive mom through foster care. In that podcast, this mom said that she is “a fairly high-capacity person. I could have done one hard child without needing God. And I think all the time He gave me two because I can’t do it. I need Him every day.”
This calling, this life, being their foster mom, and leading them to Jesus takes more than I could ever bring to the table. I truly could not do this apart from Him.
Psalm 23 assures me that He has prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies (vs. 5). He has led me in the right paths for His name’s sake (vs. 3). He is my Shepherd and gives me everything I need to do the work He has set before me (vs. 1).
On the days when I have felt my weakest, felt like God chose the wrong person, questioned what He has asked me to do, and been too exhausted to remember the truth of His word, God has been quick to use His people, His Church, to speak truth over me, to remind me that this brokenness is not forever, and that one day, He will make all things new. He will wipe away every bit of trauma, every bit of hurt that plagues my girls’ hearts, and ultimately, He will use every bit of this story for His glory.
As believers, we are all called to live in the light of those truths, in the light of the gospel. Jesus shows us over and over again what it looks like to meet people where they are. He meets the woman at the well in the midst of her sin. He meets the Pharisees in the midst of their pride. He meets Peter in the midst of his doubt and fear as he walks on the water.
Ultimately, He meets each of us at the foot of the cross, knowing that we could never pay the price for our reconciliation to God. By willingly dying for our sins, He has shown us that we are worth it. In the eyes of our Father, we are worth it not because of anything that we have done, but because we are made in His image. We are His.
Every child who enters into the foster care system is worth it not because they are children we should feel pity for, not because they are a statistic in a broken system, but because they are God’s children. If Christ laid down His life for me in the midst of my brokenness and sinfulness, why would I not lay down mine to care for the children (and their families) who need the hope of the gospel the most?
You may not be directly called to foster, but you are called to love those who are vulnerable and need to hear the gospel! This may look like providing childcare for foster parents in training, doing laundry for foster or adoptive families in your church, or donating to places like BCH’s Greater Vision in Thomasville or the Family Room in Greensboro that provide resources for foster families.
Whether we are giving up our home or just a few hours of our time, every bit of our obedience to Christ is worth it.
Bailey Bowers is a follower of Jesus, single foster mom of two, and an elementary school librarian. She is a life long member of Rich Fork Baptist Church and is a part of their Foster and Adoption Ministry. In her nonexistent free time, she enjoys a good audio book and singing worship music in the car with the girls she fosters.
Hear more from Bailey
Watch her video and hear more about what she’s learned, the ups and downs of her journey, and how her community makes fostering possible.
Questions about fostering as a single parent
Can a single person become a foster parent in North Carolina?
Yes. You do not have to be married to become a licensed foster parent in North Carolina. Bailey Bowers is a single foster mom licensed through BCH who has cared for two girls for nearly two years. Like every BCH foster parent, she completed training and is supported by her church and BCH staff.
What support do single foster parents need?
Single foster parents need a community that shows up. That can mean prayer, encouragement on hard days, childcare, meals and friends who walk through the same season. Bailey is part of her church’s foster and adoption ministry, where families support one another every week.
How can I help foster families if I am not called to foster?
You can provide childcare for foster parents in training, do laundry or bring meals for foster and adoptive families in your church, or give to ministries that provide resources for foster families, like BCH’s Greater Vision in Thomasville. Every act of care helps a family keep saying yes. Find ways to serve at bchfamily.org/serve.
How do I start the process of becoming a foster parent with BCH?
Attend an information meeting, then complete BCH’s 10-week licensing class, which meets North Carolina’s requirements for licensed foster parents. See upcoming dates at bchfamily.org/events.
